Rules of Engaged

A good friend recently became engaged and noticed a big challenge as the ‘Engaged Bride’ was not how to have her ring re-sized or getting super-model skinny (in less than six months!) but instead the exhausting endless questions from friends and family about the upcoming wedding. ‘What’s the wedding date? Where are you getting married? Have you found your dress? Which band are you booking?’  The list goes on, but many don’t realize how overwhelming the rules of engaged can be to a couple.

Embrace this time as an ‘engaged’ couple and explore new avenues in your relationship that you might not have done as a ‘dating’ couple. The word ‘Engagement’ comes from the root ‘troth’ and means trust. This is your time to engage ‘trusts.’

Talk about your future together including the subjects that make you wiggly. 

LIFE GOALS: What’s on your bucket list? Are you hoping to visit all 52 States in the next five years? Looking to climb Mt. Everest before you reach 40? Share those life dreams with each other, so they don’t become a surprise down the road.

MONEY: What’s your financial status? Are you a saver or a spender? What are your individual assets you’re bringing into the marriage? Talk about how you spend money and ways you can grow your financial future together.

FAMILY: Have you met each other’s family? Siblings? A marriage becomes more than just the two of you, it’s also managing the dynamics of your immediate families.  And speaking of family, have you talked about having your own? Make sure you are both on the same page about having or NOT having children, this is a big step that couples often avoid but one they should definitely touch on before getting married.

So if you’ve just become engaged and are overwhelmed by the multitude of questions….repeat after me to those prying: ‘Thank you for asking!  We are enjoying our engagement and working on the details to share with everyone soon.’

Photo Courtesy: Jennifer Bearden